Bacon Jam

Got bacon ends?  I do, so we're making this fun spread.  Bacon jam can go on burgers, crackers, salad, roasted vegetables, baked potatoes, pizza...you get the idea.

This isn't jam in the traditional sense.  You refrigerate the finished product and use it within a few weeks.  We aren't making pints to put up in the pantry.  One pound of bacon results in about a cup of dip, more if the bacon was lean.

This recipe from The Kitchn is going to take you about an hour and a half.  The flavor takes a while.  The bacon slow-cooks to render out the fat (great for greasing omelet pans), followed by slow-cooking the onion.  PS, onion jam is a thing too.  And I finally have a recipe for all those sweet onions the markets insist on stocking.

If you don't want to use bourbon, you can sub in apple cider.  It does cook out as much as you allow it.  I waited until it was about 90% boiled off before adding in the remaining ingredients.  Whenever you cook with alcohol, you're trying to get the flavor essence.  It isn't about the booze.

*1 lb thick-cut bacon, leanest you can find
1 sweet onion, peeled and thinly sliced
*1/4 C bourbon or apple cider
*1/4 C maple syrup
*1 Tb balsamic vinegar
1/4 tsp black pepper

1.  Chop bacon into 1" pieces.  Place in large saucepan or dutch oven and cook over medium heat, uncovered.  Stir frequently and allow fat to render off and bacon to get dark and crispy, about 30 minutes.  Remove bacon to a paper-towel lined plate.  Retain 2 Tb of the rendered fat and do whatever you want with the rest.  If you make the bacon the day before, store the cooked bacon and rendered fat separately.

2.  Add the onion slices to the remaining fat in the pan.  Reduce heat to medium low.  Cook until onion practically disappears, 45 minutes, scraping and stirring often.  Do Not cook the bacon and onion together, or they're both going to end up too oily.

3.  Raise heat to medium once the onions are done.  Add bourbon and scrape to deglaze pan.  Once the alcohol has burned off, return bacon to the pan.  Stir in syrup, vinegar, and ground black pepper.  Cook until thick and uniform, about 5 minutes.

4.  Pour contents of pan into food processor.  Pulse mixture until it breaks up.  You can stop there, or run it 10 seconds for a smoother paste.  Store refrigerated up to 2 weeks.  Serve room temperature or warmed.

Makes 1 to 1-1/2 C, depending on fat content of bacon

Difficulty rating  :)

Chocolate Pudding

I bought too much milk, and didn't realize it until it was starting to turn.  At that point, it's too late to freeze for later.  So I went off looking for "recipes to use up milk".

I've wanted to make chocolate pudding from scratch for some time, but most recipes call for egg yolks.  I'm sure they're rich and delicious, but I didn't want to compound the problem with excess egg whites.  Plus, I had almost exactly 2-1/2 cups of milk left in the carton.

The recipe I'm following from Good Cheap Eats uses cornstarch as the thickener, which gets around the yolk issue.  She stirs in chocolate chips at the end to make it richer, which got me thinking.  I got down the mix-ins box and decided to add mini marshmallows to mine as well as the chips.  This meant I had to wait for the mixture to cool down a bit first, so as not to melt everything.  Then it got portioned into the ramekins and chilled until set.

Mix-ins box: various flavors of chips, marshmallows, coconut, etc

Even without the eggs, this pudding comes out rich and smooth.  It also only takes about 10 minutes to make, 15 with stirring it off the heat if you want it to cool a little before adding the chips.  And you do have to stir constantly.  Otherwise, the milk will scorch.  Small price to pay for a pudding that's creamy and sets up thick without gelatin.

2/3 C sugar
1/4 C cornstarch
1/4 C unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 tsp salt
*2-1/2 C milk
1/2 C chocolate chips
1 tsp vanilla

1.  Whisk together sugar, cornstarch, cocoa powder, and salt in a medium saucepan.  Stir in milk and whisk until the big lumps are gone.  At this point, I let it sit 10 minutes to dissolve a little better.

2.  Bring to a low boil over medium-high heat, stirring constantly.  This will take 6-10 minutes, depending on your stove and the width of your pan.  The solids will continue to dissolve as you stir.  Once bubbling, the pudding is going to thicken up quickly and turn smooth.  When you can drop it in gooey dollops from the spoon, add vanilla and remove from the heat.

3.  To suspend chips, nuts, marshmallows, etc in the pudding, continue to stir off the heat until no longer steaming.  Then add the mix-ins and pour into 4 to 6 serving cups.  Half-cup servings is six, but I have larger ramekins and did four.  If you're going for a smooth pudding, just add the half cup of chips while the pudding is hot and stir until melted, then divide.

4.  Cover surface of the cups with plastic wrap or wax paper to prevent a skin from forming.  Unless you like the skin.  Up to you.  Chill at least 4 hours.  Serve cold, with whipped cream and/or decorations if desired.

Difficulty rating  π

Grating Tomatoes

I have been seeing recipes involving tomatoes that have been run through a box grater.  Obviously created by someone who does not have to clean said grater.  I was turning the dregs of some pizza sauce into something I could use for sloppy Joes and decided to try it instead of peeling tomatoes and chopping them.

For technique, I'm following the example of a recent Quarantine Quitchen.  (Link should be for the PG version.)  Elizabeth used the wide-shred side of the box grater.  She didn't cut the tomato in half, though, so hers would have tomato skins in it.  Ideally, you end up with just the insides of the tomato.

There are two concerns to be aware of while grating tomatoes.  First is your fingers and nails.  As you get closer to the skin of the tomato, switch to the heel of your palm, to keep things flat.  If you can feel the core on the stem end, you're done.  The blossom end will feel flat when you need to stop.  The other concern is how juicy tomatoes really are.  Do yourself a favor and grate directly into a saucepan or a bowl.  Cutting boards, even those with a drainage rim, will not suffice.


This was a workout.  I used large, slightly crispy tomatoes.  Romas are probably softer and easier to grate.  It took at least as long as running the tomatoes through a food mill, but the grater was far easier to clean.

I really liked the texture of the tomatoes in the sauce, and it took half the time to cook it than if I had put chunks in there.  I guess I would do it again for the right recipe, but it was very tempting to call off the project and get out an electric gadget.

Jamilton (Canning Day 2020)

I put on the soundtrack to Hamilton during an afternoon of making jams and decided to call it Jamilton.  How many months into the pandemic are we?

I tried not to go overboard this time.  Just two types of preserves.  I'll do Strawberry-Lavender when the last jar is gone.  I've been spooning it into yogurt, so that won't take long.

I bought cherries on a whim, then didn't eat as much as I thought I would.  I was going to make cherry-rhubarb jam, but the rhubarb at the market was disgusting, as in slimy with bits of mold.  No frozen to be had.  (I did get some fresh the following week and did rhubarb with just a hint of the few remaining cherries.)  So, it's straight cherry jam, which I love on scones.

The same day I went looking for the rhubarb, the 18oz cartons of blueberries were on sale for $2.98.  I've gotten them a dollar cheaper before, but that's still a good deal.  Blueberry jam can be intense, so I cut it with my stash of boysenberries into something less cloying.  I overfilled the blueberry jars slightly when processing, and none of them sealed.  Lesson learned, just get another 4 oz jar instead of trying to top them off.  Headspace is there for a reason, and they're now taking up space in the freezer.  I made the cherry jam second, so I was more careful with those.

As an additional preserving project, I started some nutmeg extract with the last of the vodka.  It just sounds amazing.  I'm picturing shortbread cookies with it at Christmas, or subbing it in the Thanksgiving pumpkin pie.  I'm not rushing things.  Extract-making came up on my YouTube suggestions for some reason, and I found out that the reason some of my extract varieties are weak is because I'm not letting them sit long enough.  Vanilla can mature for up to two years.  It's also renewable if you leave in the beans.  Once half is used, you can top off the bottle with more vodka and let it sit again.  I might need to do a sequel to my extracts post.

Kale with Balsamic Vinaigrette

One of the running jokes on Alton Brown's Quarantine Quitchen (Tuesdays on YouTube) is that his wife Elizabeth will put kale in almost anything.  My kale plants have been decimated by larvae, which also ate all my cucumber sprouts.  I even gave up and used non-organic pesticide on them, which didn't help.  Fine, I bought kale.

Most of the kale recipes on this site have used it in conjunction with other ingredients.  This one is all about the kale itself.  I was thinking of this as a side along the lines of sautéed spinach.  Full disclosure, I didn't actually use my balsamic vinaigrette recipe in this.  I used the leftover tomato-water vinaigrette with a bit more balsamic.  If anything, following the recipe in this post will produce an even more flavorful dish.

And yes, I did have it as part of a Latin America-themed meal.  There is nothing wrong with a sautéed greens dish alongside plantains and a quesadilla.

1 bunch (about 6 leaves) kale
1 Tb olive oil
*1/2 C diced onion
*1 clove garlic, minced
kosher salt
*1 batch (about 3/4 C) balsamic vinaigrette

1.  Remove kale leaves from stem and chiffonade.  Rinse well and set aside until ready to use.  I keep the stems in the broth bag in the freezer, to use if I'm low on celery.

2.  In a wide, deep skillet with a lid, heat oil over medium heat.  Add onion and cook until softened.  Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about one more minute.  Add kale and sprinkle lightly with salt.  Cover, lower heat to medium-low, and go away for ten minutes.

3.  Stir kale and pour in dressing.  Stir again, recover, and allow to simmer another 10 minutes, or until mostly soft.  The kale will turn slightly brown from the color of the vinegar.  It's fine to have a little crisp texture, but you want this easy to chew.  Serve hot, either on its own or as a topping for pasta.

Difficulty rating  π

Braised Plantains

I'm sure this is a thing, either in the Caribbean or West Africa, I just couldn't figure out what it's called.  Didn't feel comfortable giving it a non-American label without a source to cite.  All I knew was that I had bought a medium-ripe plantain assuming there was a recipe on the internet for it.  Fine, I'll come up with something on my own.

Green and yellow plantains can be treated like potatoes.  Once they get too heavily in the black, they're just bananas you have to cook first.  What I wanted to do with these was steam them like rose potatoes and finish them off with a light sugary glaze, just enough to bring out the banana flavor.  Kind of like glazed carrots or pearl onions.  These are intended as a side dish.  A heavier sugar glaze would be good for dessert.  I found one recipe that simmered them in coconut milk with cardamom, making it more of a Thai-inspired dish.  I was going for Central American to have with the tortillas and used nutmeg as the spice.

This came together much faster than I was expecting.  I did wish I had bought two plantains, though, so I'm fixing the quantity here.  They look a lot bigger before they're peeled.

2 yellow plantains (some green or black ok)
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp lemon juice
1 Tb butter
1 tsp sugar
dash of nutmeg

1.  Peel plantains and slice 1/2" thick.  Place in a medium saucepan with 1" of water, the salt, and the lemon juice, to discourage discoloration.

2.  Bring to a simmer over medium heat.  Lower heat to minimum and cook until the slices are easily pierced by a fork, but not mushy, about 5 minutes.  Drain.

3.  Return saucepan to medium heat.  Add butter, sugar, and nutmeg.  Toss slices in butter glaze until coated.  Serve hot.

Difficulty rating  π

Spiral Rosette Cake

I'm clearly not going to be able to throw a tea party this year, but I did host a going-away BBQ for a co-worker who got married and was moving away.  Just the few of us who see each other every day, we kept outside, and chairs were spaced.  Decided to make her a cake, since she may never have a wedding reception.

This design is not much different than a Unicorn Cake.  It's just more of a spiral pattern, the rosettes getting larger as you leave the center point, and you don't have to deal with fondant accessories.  The base color can be anything.  I left it white because it's a wedding cake, and the cake itself was lavender chiffon (Vanilla Chiffon subbing in lavender extract).  It took far longer to do the crumb and final coats than the decorating.  That's why my designs are impressionist art.  It's about flow, not precision.

1.  Bake a cake, trim flat, stack & fill, crumb coat, final coat.  Chill to set the top coat.  Have about 1-1/2 C of white buttercream ready to go, and gel colors for tinting.

2.  Set up your pastry bag and a variety of tips.  I have a coupler, and just swapped out tips as I went.  To make life easier, I started by making yellow frosting.  Once I was done with it, I added more white and a drop of red to create a coral pink.  When that was done, added white and a drop of blue to the remnants to make lavender.  Then I only had to clean out the bowl once during the process, to start fresh for the green leaves.

3.  Set a toothpick in the center of the cake.  Rotate turntable while pulling toward the edge to create the stencil for your spiral.  Pull toothpick down while rotating for your vertical line.  Or eyeball it, but I'm not good at that kind of stuff.

4.  With first color, create spaced rosettes or swirls, starting small in the center of the cake and getting bigger toward the edge and down the side.  Switch colors and repeat the length of the spiral...

I'm going to break in here, since this was a better place for this discussion than in the intro.  When I was little, I used to think that ombre icing flowers were some kind of magic trick, and some do involve airbrushing.  I did it here by not washing out the pastry bag every time I changed colors.  I filled in the back, pushed it through until the new color was the majority, and started decorating.  That bit of laziness created an effect that does not require special equipment.  Ok, back to Step 4.

...If desired, do a third color, until all the major gaps in the line are filled.  Using green icing and a small leaf tip, pipe accent leaves where desired.  Chill until ready to serve.  Can be frozen, since this is buttercream.

Makes 1 cake

Difficulty rating  :)

Flour Tortillas

After the success of making thin pancakes for the Peking duck, I decided to tackle regular flour tortillas.  They have not been in short supply, and I really like the Americanized flavors of Mission tortillas.  For the heck of it, I thought it would be interesting to make a less fast-food version.

I'll admit, using King Arthur Flour's recipe may not be the most authentic way to make a Central American staple.  The recipe is easy to follow, incorporates proper gluten techniques, and is flexible for whichever kind of fat you choose.

So let's talk fat.  Lard is the most traditional fat to use in tortillas.  The melting point and water content, or lack of, is appropriate.  Shortening is the next best choice, but chill it first.  Butter works, but it does bring some water to the dough and has a lower melting point.  Oil can be used if you don't have anything else, and has its own set of directions.  Oil is the Peking duck pancake recipe, and not bad for that, but I wanted to try one with a solid fat and chose butter-flavored shortening.

2-1/2 C flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 C either lard, shortening, butter, or vegetable oil
up to 1 C hot tap water

1.  Stir together flour, baking powder, and salt in a bowl.  If using solid fat, cut in until it disappears.  Much finer than for a pie crust.  You could probably do this entire recipe in a food processor, but I like the feeling of fat-coated flour on my fingers.

2.  Add 3/4 cup of the hot water, and oil if using.  This is when the recipe stops looking like pie dough, which requires ice water.  Stir dough into a "shaggy mess" (King Arthur's description).  If too dry, gradually add in remaining water a tablespoon at a time until you can make a not-wet ball of dough.

3.  Transfer dough to a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth, about 5 minutes.  Cut into 8 pieces.  I used a scale for this and ended up with 2.5 oz per tortilla.  If I'd realized they were that big, I would have made a half-batch.  It's ok, you can freeze them.  Round each portion into a ball, cover with a cloth, and let sit 30 minutes for the gluten to rest.  If it's a dry day, you can brush the balls lightly with oil first.

4.  Start preheating a griddle or skillet to 400º, about medium-high heat.  Roll out each ball into an 8" circle(ish).  This will require more flour for both the board and the top of the tortilla.  If you have a tortilla press, great.  The dough is so soft and silky, I was thrilled with the texture.  None of the balls tore under pressure, and I got them pretty thin.

5.  Drop the first circle onto the ungreased griddle and start rolling the next.  Until the pan gets really hot, it's going to take about 1 minute per side.  Eventually, it will be down to 30 seconds, when you start to get slightly browned patches.  Or yellow, in my case.  The last thing I made in that pan was the baingan bharta, and I guess I didn't get all the curry out of it.  I had considered putting curry in the beans a few hours before, so I just shrugged and kept frying.  Once both sides of the tortilla are cooked, remove to a plate to keep warm and toss in the next.

6.  To store any leftover tortillas, allow to cool and place in a plastic zip top bag.  Refrigerate or freeze.  Reheat in the original skillet over medium heat until pliable.  You can also cut them up and fry into tortilla chips.

Makes 8

Difficulty rating  :)

Tomato-Water Vinaigrette

I first heard of using the water that drains out of tomatoes as an ingredient on The Bitten Word, a now-ended blog.  I think they got the idea from Bon Appetit.  It works in this era of waste-not.  You're supposed to cut tomatoes and leave them overnight to drain.  I saved the drainings from the panelle's coulis to make a dressing for pasta a few days later.

Tomatoes have acid, but not a lot, so you still need to add vinegar to the dressing.  It takes the place of a splash of lemon juice.  Other than that, it's really basic.  The water, olive oil, vinegar, and a pinch of salt.  You can add a bit of an herb to suit the dish, but don't go crazy or it will overpower the tomato notes.

Aside from waiting for the tomatoes to drain, this dressing comes together in about 30 seconds.  I didn't actually measure, just used a half-pint jar and eyeballed it.  Pretty sure these measurements are close.

*1/3 C tomato water
2 Tb balsamic vinegar (or lighter vinegar of choice)
1/4 tsp kosher salt
1/2 C olive oil

1.  To make tomato water, cut several tomatoes and leave in a mesh strainer over a bowl in the fridge overnight.  Or, strain the water from a can of tomatoes through a fine-mesh strainer.  For either method, lining the strainer with cheesecloth will further reduce the solids; it will also reduce the tomato flavor in the finished product.  Decide how tomato-ey you want the water to taste.

2.  Add vinegar and salt to tomato water.  Stir or shake to combine.

3.  Add olive oil.  Seal lid and shake vigorously.  Refrigerate at least 1 hour, to meld flavors.  Shake again before serving.

Makes 1 cup

Difficulty rating  π

Micro-Batch Berry Jam

My boysenberry bush is doing decently this year, but not all at once.  I accumulate less than a cup of berries every few days, and they don't keep very well.  Ok, they do keep, but the whole organic farming thing means I might have to share with whatever hatches.  I've become much less picky about washing off the larvae and eating the berry cooked.  Still find the green worms eating the kale disgusting.

What I'm giving you here is an option for a way to salvage the last of a carton of any berry you have. Making jam and canning are not synonymous.  You don't have to process and put up an entire year's worth to have homemade jam.  You can make as little jam as you want and refrigerate it.  This was enough for two English muffins.

Berries of choice
Sugar
lemon juice

1.  Trim and weigh berries.  You can put raspberries in whole, but larger than that and you should slice them through the core.  Strawberries are better quartered or sliced.  Blueberries need to be slightly mashed.  My scale happened to be on grams when I started weighing, so I left it there.

2.  Add half the weight of the fruit in sugar.  You're not canning, so this isn't a preservative.  It's only for texture.  Allow mixture to macerate (sit) for about an hour at room temperature, to allow the sugar to dissolve and pull the juices out of the fruit.

3.  Bring fruit mixture to a decent boil.  With so little in the pan, this is going to happen quickly.  Boil until fruit is cooked and starting to thicken, about 10 minutes.  The bubbles will look glassy and slower to burst.  Remove from heat, stir in lemon juice to taste (again, not a preservative), and transfer to a storage container.  Refrigerate and use within 1 week.

Yield varies

Difficulty rating  π