Steak au Poivre

One thing about the cakes, they racked up the posts.  At one point this summer I had close to a month written in advance.  Then I had five days of indigestion this week and barely ate anything.  For some reason, greasy fast food settles my stomach, while a platter of garden-fresh veggies ticks it off.  Finally, I'm cooking again.

The first thing to pop up in my steak au poivre (peppercorn steak) search was Alton Brown's recipe.  Simple, few ingredients, and all stuff I had.  I did use top sirloin instead of tenderloin.  Close enough for a weekday dinner.  You do get to set alcohol on fire.  I happened to have the cognac from AB's recipe, but any of the lighter fortified wines will do.

Unlike most of the classic French recipes I make, this one is super easy and only takes fifteen minutes once you actually get started.  I got the vegetables chopped and cooking while the steak was resting at room temperature, and had it ready when it was time to pull them from the oven.

The reason there's only one steak in all these photos is because I bought one 12 oz and cut it into three Smurf-sized portions (4 oz each), using a half recipe for the other ingredients.  I do serve larger portions when there's company.

4 6-to-8 oz tenderloin steaks
kosher salt
*2 Tb whole peppercorns
1 Tb unsalted butter
1 tsp oil
*1/3 C plus 1 tsp cognac
*1 C heavy cream

1.  For the most time-consuming step, let the steaks sit until room temperature, 30 to 60 minutes.  Sprinkle both sides with salt.

2.  Crush the peppercorns.  I used my mortar and pestle.  You can get creative with an old pie tin and a can of vegetables.  The point is to crack them before you crack a tooth.  Spread them on a plate or pie tin and press into both sides.

3.  Over medium heat, melt the butter and oil to coat the bottom of a large skillet.  The fat doesn't have to be deep.  It's there to help caramelize the meat.  When it starts to smoke a bit, add the steaks.  Sear for about 4 minutes for medium-rare.  Turn and sear the other side for another 4 minutes.  Remove meat to a platter and keep warm.

4.  Pour off any excess fat, but don't clean the pan.  Deglaze with the 1/3 C of cognac and quickly light it up with a long match or stick lighter to burn off the alcohol.  It took me a while to get the clicker to work, and I never got to see flames.  Add the cream, stir frequently, and boil until the sauce coats the back of a spoon.  Taste, then add salt as needed and the remaining teaspoon of cognac if you want a hint of alcohol.

5.  Place steaks back in pan and turn over in the sauce.  Serve, with additional sauce on top.

Difficulty rating  π

Packing the Box

This is the reverse of an unboxing.  I have to send various supplies to Virginia so I can bake the wedding cake there without putting too much stress on the bride.  It's bad enough I'm camping out in her living room for two nights so I can hit the kitchen at the crack of dawn.

So, what do you need to make a wedding cake, other than ingredients and an oven?  Apparently, a lot.

• Cake pans (1 10", 3 8", and 2 6")
• cardboard circles
• cake drums
• baking strips
• gel colors
• wax paper (normally I'd buy it there, but I have 3 rolls)
• piping bags & tips
• boba straws
• toothpicks
• cake box (for the anniversary tier)
• offset spatula and scraper
• turntable
• thermometer (hers is broken)
• food scale (also broken, so I packed the one that barely works)
• dual-progam kitchen timer
• zester
• recipes & grocery spreadsheet
• photos of sample cakes, because they look better printed than on my phone

And these are just the things she didn't have!  There's a stand mixer I can use, mixing bowls, and one 8" cake pan.  I'm assuming she has cooling racks and oven mitts, because everyone does.  Michaels was having a very good sale, so I bought two new 8" pans and a 6" scraper.  My old one has dings and is probably over 25 years old.

There are a couple of things I threw in there for the heck of it, like a few bags of my favorite teas.  Last time I was there, there was only herbal tea or hot chocolate for a morning drink.  I can live without a coffee maker, but I need something with caffeine.  I was really impressed that I got everything to fit logically on the first try.  I'll stuff the rest with newspaper and bubble wrap before sealing.  I was hoping to toss some of my clothes in there so I wouldn't have to pack them, but the weather changes too quickly this time of year to plan ahead.

The really hard part about this is she hasn't decided 100% what she wants.  I'm preparing for any of the cakes we have discussed, including different breakdowns of the recipes for various size cakes.  When we're about to go shopping, I'll add up the cakes we're actually doing on the spreadsheet to make the grocery list.

One thing I'm bummed I couldn't send was lemons.  It's illegal to transport citrus from California without some special permit, so I can't even stash them in my bag on the plane.  I get that they're trying to stop fruit flies and diseases.  It's just inconvenient when you're used to getting Meyer lemons for free.

Next up, trying to figure out how to get a week's worth of Fall clothes, including party wear, into a carry-on.

Naan Tacos

I ended up stress cooking.  The week after she turned 19, Princess' health started to fail rapidly.  The vet said it was some form of cancer.  I could have done expensive tests, but she clearly never would have survived surgery and treatment.  Less than two weeks later, I decided she'd had enough and put her to sleep.  Preparing unnecessarily elaborate meals channeled my anxiety.

This is an awful lot of work for what's basically a Taco Bell gordita.  I had no idea how much nervous energy those cakes were expending.

1 batch Naan
1 batch not-refried beans
3/4 lb 80/20 ground beef
1/4 tsp paprika
salt and pepper
2 Roma tomatoes, diced
*1/2 C yellow onion, diced
2 avocados
sour cream and cotija cheese to garnish

1.  Prepare naan and beans and set aside to keep warm.

2.  In a skillet over medium heat, brown the ground beef, seasoning with paprika, salt, and pepper.  Drain off the fat.

3.  Toss together the diced onion and tomato.  Slice the avocado.

4.  To assemble, spread about 2 Tb of beans on each naan.  Top with a generous spoonful each of ground beef and tomato/onion mix.  Add avocado slices, sour cream, and cheese as desired.  You could add cilantro sprigs for something green.  Serve while the fillings are still warm.

Makes 8 tacos, 4-6 servings

Difficulty rating :-0 (for all the components)

Cake Scrap Ice Cream Sandwiches

I don't have an ice cream label?  Not going back to create one.

Man About Cake had this excellent idea.  Far less work than cake pops, and frankly something more enticing.  It does take a little while, between softening the ice cream and freezing every stage, but the results are at least as good as any ice cream sandwich you get at the market.

I happened to make chocolate with cookies'n'cream ice cream, but you can coordinate for any flavor of cake.  Strawberry with chocolate, spice cake with dulce de leche, lemon with vanilla.  Whatever seems like a good idea at the time.

These were a huge hit with Bruin Smurf (my young cousin staying with me while attending UCLA) and her boyfriend.  I barely got two slices myself before they magically disappeared.

I know the description "cake pop dough" is obscure if you've never made it before.  Crumble any baked cake into the mixer and beat in enough frosting to make it stick together.  It resembles a scooped cookie dough, but does not require further cooking.

*1 C cake pop dough, any flavor
1 pint ice cream

1.  Line a loaf pan with wax paper, then plastic wrap.  You can try just the plastic wrap, but Joshua had trouble getting his bar out of the pan and I decided not to push it.

2.  Press half of the cake mush into the bottom of the pan, making sure to get the corners.  If using a glass pan, you can lift it to make sure there aren't any holes.  Freeze for 1 hour.

3.  Soften the ice cream on the counter for about half an hour.  Spread over the first cake layer evenly.  Freeze for an hour again.

4.  Spread remaining cake on top and freeze until firm.

5.  Turn out loaf onto a cutting board and slice crosswise into bars.

Makes 6 to 8, depending how thick you slice it

Difficulty rating  :) (for time and making the cake pop dough)

Faro Couscous

Yes, I'm eating things other than sweets.  This had such low calorie-density that I lost a couple pounds the week I had it.

It was still warm out, but I wanted Fall comfort foods.  This was a compromise.  You could swap out carrots for the sweet potato for something a little more summery.  I did use saved sausage fat instead of the stated olive oil.  It's very good in casseroles and stews for a little added seasoning.

*1 C dry faro
1 lb sweet potato
1 Tb olive oil
1/2 C diced onion
1 bunch kale
1/4 lb white mushrooms, sliced
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp turmeric
1 lb sole fillet or another white fish
feta and lemon wedges for garnish

1.  Add 3 C water to the faro in a medium saucepan.  Bring to a boil over medium.  Reduce heat to a simmer, cover, and cook until tender, about 30 minutes.  Drain off any standing water.

2.  While that's going on, peel and dice the sweet potato into bite-sized chunks.  Simmer in a small saucepan with water to cover until slightly tender but not falling apart, about 10 minutes.  Turn off the heat and let them sit in the warm water while you make the rest of it.

3.  In a large skillet, sauté the diced onion in the olive oil over medium.  Strip the kale from the ribs and finely chop.  Add kale and sliced mushrooms to the skillet and cook down about halfway.  Add the cumin, turmeric, salt, and pepper.

4.  Chop the fish into chunks and add to the skillet.  Lower heat to a simmer, cover, and let the fish steam over the vegetables until opaque, about 8 minutes.  Stir at least once to get a feel for how fast it's cooking.  Drain the sweet potatoes and add to the skillet.

5.  Spoon a bed of the faro onto the serving plate, then cover with the skillet mixture.  Serve garnished with lemon wedges and feta.

Difficulty rating  :)

Gryffindor Cake

Have I mentioned this wedding I'm making a cake for has a Harry Potter theme?  The bride is Hufflepuff and the groom is Slytherin, but the wedding itself wants to be inclusive of all houses.  The Sorting Hat put me in Gryffindor, so I decided to practice this idea on a red velvet cake in Gryffindor colors.

Cousin Smurf wants a traditional look with subtle theme overtones, so we're probably going with the rosettes in the four house colors.  After seeing some videos and photos of HP wedding cakes, I came up with this design that uses simple and clean lines that are highly suggestive of the theme without putting house crests on each cake.  If we went with this concept it would mean a four-tiered cake, instead of a two-tier for the cutting ceremony and other cakes on separate stands.  The flavors wouldn't change, just the design and cake sizes.

The hardest part in designing her cake has actually been avoiding fondant.  Fondant is easy, fast, and looks awesome unless your crumb coat is very uneven.  I couldn't figure out another way to do the stripe except chocolate, and I clearly suck at chocolate garnish.  This small bit is easy to pick off if you get it in your slice.

1 2-layer cake, your choice of flavor
1 batch Buttercream Frosting
2 Tb red food coloring
a golfball-sized pinch of fondant and golden yellow gel food color
snitch cake pops

1.  Trim, fill, and crumb coat your cake in uncolored frosting.  Chill.

2.  Put remaining frosting in the mixer and start beating in food color.  I'm guessing on the amount, because I emptied what was left in a 1 oz bottle and a dropper.  Gel color will require less.  Suffice it to say that it takes way more color to achieve a saturated look in buttercream than fondant.

3.  Smooth-coat the cake in red.  Chill while you roll the fondant.

4.  Add one toothpick of gel color to the fondant and knead in.  If not dark enough, you can add another.  Roll into a thin strip on a cornstarch-dusted surface.  Cut out a long, 1/2" wide stripe.  Carefully lift and drape over the cake off-center.

5.  Arrange snitches as desired and serve.

Makes one 8" cake

Difficulty rating  :-0

Snitch Cake Pops

I kept all the trimmings (what Man About Cake calls "garbage cake") from the chocolate and vanilla family in a ziplock bag in the freezer until I was done with all my cakes.  There was also a bit of chocolate frosting from the tiered cake left.  Time to teach myself how to make cake pops.

It's a remarkably simple idea, and I can't figure out why no one thought of this fifty years ago.  Maybe people weren't trimming cakes flat then, or they were too obsessed with gelatin to worry about their cakes.

Anyway, I didn't actually put lollipop sticks in these because they were decorating a cake, but I'll give you instructions.

After all the work I put into the fondant wings, I didn't like the result.  They looked right, but kept breaking.  After a couple of days on the cake, the fondant re-hydrated and they drooped flat onto the cake's surface.  Molded chocolate probably wouldn't have worked much better.  Cousin Smurf suggested non-edible card-stock wings held on with toothpicks if we do these.  I agree.

2 C baked cake crumbs
approx 1/2 C buttercream frosting, softened
8 oz yellow candy melts
gold food spray
cardstock, scissors, pen, toothpicks, and tape or glue

1.  Crumble cake into mixing bowl until the biggest crumbs are no larger than a pea.  With the paddle on low, add frosting a heaping spoonful at a time until dough sticks together.  You may not use all of it.  Form into six golfball-sized spheres and set on wax paper or a plastic plate.  Freeze until you're ready to assemble.

2.  For the wings, there are templates on Pinterest.  I ended up just looking at a screenshot from one of the movies and sketching my own.  Cut out twelve.  Flip half of them over so you have six each of right and left.  Draw on the feathers, then tape or glue the toothpicks onto the backs so they protrude about 1/2" from the paper at the base.  (I used leftover fondant from the marbled cake, even though it wasn't gold.)

3.  Melt the candy coating until smooth, according to package directions.  If using lollipop sticks, dip them lightly into the candy to coat the tip.  Insert that tip into the naked cake ball.  Dip cake end into the coating and swirl to cover evenly.  Set stick in foam or a cake pop holder.  Or, set un-sticked balls on wax paper or a plastic plate.

4.  When coating is starting to set but not rigid, insert wings on either side.  If any crack when you put in the toothpick, it's because the coating was allow to set too firmly.  Eat the evidence.  Allow surviving snitches to harden completely.

5.  When no longer sticky, spray with gold food spray or glitter to make them shiny.

Makes 6

Difficulty rating  $@%!

Stacking a Tiered Cake

I've only made a couple of tiered cakes in my life.  Mostly, because it's pretty rare to need that much cake.  They also don't travel well, and it's just easier to make one large cake than several smaller ones.

One of the cakes at the wedding will be tiered, so I needed to practice.  The other times I've done it, I've cut crafting dowels to the correct height and pushed them through.  It's not easy and involves a saw or very sharp blade.  Then there's the chance of splinters working their way into the cake.

Man About Cake has a solution.  He stacks his using boba straws.  For those who don't know, boba drinks are a trendy Asian tea or milkshake with tapioca balls suspended in them.  The straws are barely wider than the average boba ball, and thick enough to survive the extra suction by the drinker.  Joshua sinks them in his cakes and snips them off at the right height with sharp scissors.  Add another dollop of frosting for super stickiness, and you now have a stable and hopefully level platform on which to rest the next cake on its cardboard circle.  Fast and easy.

Finding the straws was a little harder.  Wal-Mart carries them, but there isn't one near me.  The ones online were in giant packs for restaurants.  I finally found them at Smart & Final in a pack of 50 for a reasonable price.

And before the haters start, yes I'm aware that straws are the new environmental evil.  I always assumed they were recycled when you put them in the blue bin.  I do remember a time when straws were made of paper.  They transitioned to plastic when I was little.  It wasn't the end of the world when the straws got soft, and we'll get used to it again.  Meanwhile, 50 is about as many boba straws as I'll need for a couple of decades.

What I did not do for this cake, and I'll have to remember this for the wedding, is finish off the bottom of the top tier.  You can see the cake circle.  I'll need to bring extra frosting if I stack them at the venue, to patch any gaps.  We're probably doing the rosettes, so there won't be a border at the bottom.  I also need to work on keeping the cake board clean.  This chocolate buttercream was obvious when I missed, but even lightly tinted frosting will leave marks.  I have six weeks to figure this out.

Dulce de Leche Cake

This is the last decorating technique I have lined up to test.  The cake itself isn't on the wedding list, but I felt like trying something new.  And I had half a can of sweetened condensed milk left over from the mirror glaze that needed a purpose.

I'm using Preppy Kitchen's recipe, but putting in the whole egg.  I'm pretending that it makes up for not measuring the brown butter after cooking, but I really just didn't want a leftover yolk.  I'm also skipping the vanilla bean paste because he uses way too much vanilla in his recipes already.  I admit, using the recipe of someone who can't pronounce the cake he's making (watch the YouTube video) didn't instill me with much confidence.  The recipe looks right, so I'm going for it.

Preppy Kitchen doesn't use cake flour.  He only uses AP in his recipes, but is careful not to over-mix the cakes.  I'm willing to try that.  He also makes really tall 6" cakes.  This was part of a larger project that will be the next post, so I made 1/3 in two 4" pans.  Teeny tiny cakes.  They're so cute!  The next day, I saw 4" birthday cakes at Sprouts; I forget the brand.  So this is a thing and I'm trendy.

I'm breaking with my "split up the recipes" style because the dulce de leche itself is only used in the frosting.  Most similar recipes will go through two or three cans and have it every step of the way.  I'm kind of over excessively sweet cakes.  It's a browned-butter cake for the caramel flavor, then the browned-milk in the icing.  The drip is plain white chocolate ganache, so I could test the design.  Fortunately, Cousin Smurf doesn't want a drip cake.  I need to stop thinking I can decorate with chocolate.

Cake
1-2/3 C flour
1-1/3 C sugar
1/4 heaping tsp baking soda
1 heaping tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp kosher salt
3/4 C unsalted butter
1/2 C sour cream
1/2 C milk
3 eggs, room temperature
1 Tb vanilla

1.  Make the brown butter.  In a small saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter.  Reduce heat to medium-low and allow it to come to a low boil.  After a few minutes, it's going to start to turn golden.  Stir to avoid scorching, but a few flecks of brown are expected.  They'll look like vanilla beans in the cake.  When the butter turns a medium to dark gold, pull from the heat.  Allow to cool to room temperature, until it just starts to firm up.

2.  Grease two 8" or three 6" cake pans.  Line them with wax paper, then grease the paper.  Preheat oven to 345º.

3.  In a large bowl, sift together flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.

4.  In a small bowl, whisk together sour cream, milk, eggs, vanilla, and the brown butter.  You don't have to get the mixer dirty for this recipe.

5.  Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and stir until just combined.  Get out the major lumps, but don't over-mix.  This isn't cake flour.

6.  Fill cake pans evenly.  I actually did use the scale for this one.  Bake until a toothpick comes up clean, about 30-35 minutes.  Cool for 10 minutes on the rack, until the pans are safe to touch.  Invert and peel off the wax paper.  Cool completely before freezing or frosting.


Dulce de Leche Icing
1/2 C butter
1/2 C shortening
1 lb powdered sugar (more if needed)
1 can dulce de leche

Note: I made my dulce de leche by microwaving sweetened condensed milk on 50% in 2 minute bursts.  Stir between heatings.  I went a little too far and made a medium caramel.  It broke up in the frosting, but stayed pretty solid in the cake filling.  Store-bought dulce de leche won't do that.  It will stay caramel creamy at room temperature, and only slightly hard in the fridge.

1.  Cream together butter and shortening.  Gradually add powdered sugar and beat until uniform.

2.  Beat in 1/4 of the can of dulce de leche.  You can stop there or add another 1/4 can to make it stronger.  You may need to add more powdered sugar if you do that.


Assembly
1.  Place a dab of icing on a cake circle.  Set one layer on it.  Smooth on a thin layer of icing.  Drizzle with straight dulce de leche.  Top with next layer.  Repeat filling if doing three layers.  Once everything is stacked, do a thin crumb coat with the icing.  Chill.

2.  The second coat is your display coat of icing.  Decorate as desired.  To make white chocolate ganache, melt together 2 oz white chocolate and 2 Tb heavy cream in the microwave at 50% power until smooth.  Stir in additional cream if you want a thinner drizzle.  Drip over edge of cake or pour on top and spread to top.

Makes one 8" layer cake, about 12 servings

Difficulty rating  :-0